An advertisement from the front page of today's HK online Ming Pao Daily, Kumamoto Prefecture in Kyushu, and Hyogo Prefecture which includes Kobe and which lies near Osaka and the great Buddhist city of Nara.

If I'm not mistaken the ad says

Sun King Horn Light Microdike
Tavern Management Building 42
#8-11

Each day the chief sends us 30 bright young journalists [see picture]
These casino otters are ready to do what it takes
Y.E.S. Credit card transport
Free Prince Valiant bobble head dolls, get 'em while they last

I could be wrong. But consider the English language; how would you translate the following into Chinese?

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg...

I mean, you're supposed to stare at these ads while riding the subway for 45 minutes, if you started thinking about how the stork flies to the Eastern mountain or how supreme enlightenment flows from the government, you just might experience sycope right there on the train. And by syncope I mean "fainting".

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Kumamoto, Kobe, Osaka and Nara are a different kettle of fish altother. I guess Britney is a native of Kumamoto. And I guess Siskel & Ebert hail from the Osaka-Kobe-Nara area. You do the math.

The word Kobe is something like "God has left the door open". If you've ever seen Ice Cube's first Fridays movie, it's something like that, an expression of the togetherness and lack of security that existed during the Floating World Era. I mean, if you've seen that movie, you have to wonder how a person could keep and own a desktop or a laptop computer in an open door environment. During the Floating World Era there was a certain imbalance of common sense in which Babe Ruth, Ozzy Osbourne and Madonna had assumed command of Japan (as opposed to George W Bush, Barack Obama and Condoleeza Rice), it was the time of samurai cult. Of course, then as now the city served as a destination for kids from the boondocks, Kumamoto-jin really made the Floating World turn. As opposed to naming your city after a security breach, which seems to me to be a way to put the government's problems squarely in front of you all day, the Kumamoto people have a different method of nomenclature. Let's see, we have here

http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%86%8A%E6%9C%AC%E7%9C%8C

Kumamoto = Bear Body
Thighnasty
Manluck
Shameflow
Scrunchie.com
4:20 w/Jade
Whole Explanation
Chrysanthemum Puddle
Space Dust
Lawn Heaven
Space Dust Burglar
Pillowmates
Whorvard
more Lawn Heaven

2nd line
Littermouth
Easytown
Better Housekeeping
Beautyrest


3rd line
Jade Pop
Jade A.M.
Easy Conjugal
Long Island City
Robotgasm

4th line
Deerfriend
True Wood

5th line
Chrysanthemum Puddle
People's Court
Chrysanthemum Mann

6th line
Pillowfriend
Mailporn
Baby Mountain
You're Confused
Homebrew
Penpal Pillowfriend

7th line
Roofbabes
Delicious Boat
Happy Island
Townprize
Independent Mantrap
Girlcity

8th line
Thighnasty
Obeisant Scrunch

9th line
You left the baby on the lawn
Doorstop is a baby
Lawyer Boyfriend on a Unicycle

10th line
Escaped Mormons
Tintown
Many Strong Bodies
Forwardly Warm
Scrunchtop\
Doubleroot
Fivewood
Baby Creek
Ballrock
--

11th line
Lawn Heaven
Bicycle in the Rain

Here's the Kumamoto data in case you're not viewing with View menu:Windows (Western Europe):

1 熊本県の自治体 市部: 熊本市 | 八代市 | 人吉市 | 荒尾市 | 水俣市 | 玉名市 | 山鹿市 | 菊池市 | 宇土市 | 上天草市 | 宇城市 | 阿蘇市 | 合志市 | 天草市
2 下益城郡: 城南町 | 富合町 | 美里町
3 玉名郡: 玉東町 | 南関町 | 長洲町 | 和水町
4 鹿本郡: 植木町
5 菊池郡: 大津町 | 菊陽町
6 阿蘇郡: 南小国町 | 小国町 | 産山村 | 高森町 | 西原村 | 南阿蘇村
7 上益城郡: 御船町 | 嘉島町 | 益城町 | 甲佐町 | 山都町
8 八代郡: 氷川町
9 葦北郡: 芦北町 | 津奈木町
10 球磨郡: 錦町 | 多良木町 | 湯前町 | 水上村 | 相良村 | 五木村 | 山江村 | 球磨村 | あさぎり町
11 天草郡: 苓北町

The point of all this is that if you put happy stuff in front of you all day, you will never solve the hard cases. It's why we have People's Court and Cops on TV, I guess. "My sister and her girlfriend moved in with me and now I have a $400 phone bill." Judge: "Did you make those calls?" "No, I did not, your honor." on and on

Hyogo could be a "Security Warehouse". If you had money to build a Fermilab, and you had to choose, where exactly would you have to put it?

Translation Control:
Beverly Hills = Beaverheel
Las Vegas = Lost Wages
Butte = Butt
British Columbia = Britney's Lumber Yard
Fermilab = Lunch Money Scholarship Fund or $erious Car Payment Economic Resource